Sunday, June 01, 2008
random thoughts
quick snapshot of this weekend before i do the whole long summary. while i was on my third walking tour of berlin - yes, i have been there on 6 different occasions, i think i may even be able to give my own walking tour of it now - i got to thinking (again). i always get really sad, and am really glad for the fact that i have shades on and people can't see my eyes - anyone who has seen my video of the bullfight in madrid will know what i'm talking about - especially when you think of all those people as like, real people, with real lives, at your age, just born into different circumstances. and this time i heard something new. this time i was thinking about courage and honor. cos there was this one part, where the guide was telling us about 17 soldiers who refused to fire on an unarmed crowd. these 17 soldiers were later executed. EXECUTED! For not wanting to do what they felt was wrong. If it came down to it, would I have the courage to do that? Would I even think for myself? I mean, I've wanted to be a pilot for so long, but granted, I doubt Singapore will ever go to war. Still. Makes me rethink why I want to do what I want to do. All I think about flying planes is dodging bullets, and playfighting, and sitting back in my cool f16. But I think I am incredibly naive. There is a lot more to it that I would have just rather not have thought about. And like all the pieces falling into place, I actually met someone who was in the US Air Force, and wanted to do it on his way to fulfill his dream in NASA, but on thinking about what he was really going to do, resigned, and came to berlin to teach 4-year-olds. Would I have had the courage those people did when it came down to life and death? Or would I just go with the flow and save my own ass? Only a real situation will tell won't it. And it's making me rethink my future direction. It seems Berlin always plays a part in me changing my mind. Heh. 2 years ago, I was *this* close to moving there, but changed my mind as I really couldn't see myself there. Now, back to visit, it's making me realise what I'm about to embark on yet again. Oh wells. If all else fails I'll just sail my ship around the world. A nice ship. With wooden boards and a deck, and sails. Proper sails. Like the ones Gaston and I saw in Sardegna. *grins* I've already recruited my crew I think. Well some of them at least. Haha.
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